October 26, 2009 - Posted by Daughter of Eve - 1 Comment
The last week has been dramatic, there has been so much happening in my life that I feel like I have been caught in a tornado and have been scrambling round to batten down the hatches before too much damage is done. I went back to Uni but have decided to switch my degree because I am struggling with the “Maths” bits of the course. Part of me is really frustrated as I really felt that I had found a course that I would be happy with and felt like I was progressing and now I feel like a total quitter. However the realist in me knows that if I am struggling , having sleepless nights and cold sweats due to the coursework now (1 month in) the future is not looking so hot. Which brings me back to the age old question of “what do I want to be when I grow up?” the truth is at this juncture fuck knows!!
Things with the boy are ticking along but only just – I guess we are both just afraid to let go and just free fall so we are being very sensible and rationalizing and evaluating each step and so at the moment it feels like relationship rehab – I know with drug and alcohol rehab you have the 12 step program. At the moment I feel like I am in one of my own. Taking it one day at a time and all that. Rehab because I seem to have an unhealthy addiction to certain types of people that are so not good to me and I need to wean myself of old bad habits in dating and form new ones. Rehab because I need to take responsibilty for my actions within a relationship and make choices some of which may be a quite a tough pill to swallow. Rehab because stupidly like Amy in the past “they tried to make me go to rehab and I said NO NO NO!!”
Hi My name is Daughter of Eve and I am a love-a-holic. Seriously , after spending so long as a single girl I had forgotten how stressful this relationship thing can be. I guess when you see people walking down the street hand in hand looking generally smitten, you forget that a relationship is 2 people and personalities coming together trying to make something out of nothing and often these personalities clash. A relationship is something that is built and trust is something that is earned and with the best will in the world it can fail and crumble down around you and crush you – other times it can be so beautiful it can actually make your chest ache. So for now I am just taking each day as it comes, trying to he honest and real and will see what happens which will hopefully be a better approach than the guns blazing kiss kiss bang bang approach!
Winter is here and with the changing of seasons I have also noticed the shift in relationships that I have with certain people around me. Some friends are have flitted away like autumn leaves in the breeze, some like trees have decided to lie dormant and will probably re-emerge within the fullness of time. Some have laid down roots with me and our friendship is growing and developing and becoming stronger. Lately I have discovered that like most things in life friendship is cyclic and like in nature some make it and some don’t.
The last thing I have noticed lately is that some people really do suffer from big doses of Boyfriend envy. Being in a new relationship is an odd experience which is made even more so by the fact that people around you tend to react very strangely to the news that you will no longer be at their beck and call and available 24hrs a day. Some people have reacted quite badly to the fact that I am seeing someone and his has been evident in both male and female alike. Certain friends have been really congratulatory and encouraging and others ie a male friend that I have, have been less so (I strongly suspect that this guy has a crush on me) in fact I know he does and has for a while and whilst I have tried to put him in the friend zone and I can tell he is trying to be happy for me but I know its hard for him. Last week he asked me out to lunch via e-mail and I added DeLicious to the acceptance mail and was like “we would love to!” LOL I felt a bit mean but I don’t think its fair to entertain other guys advances whilst I am supposed to be in a relationship. One of my girlfriends basically called me to give me a bona fide good bye call that went something like this:
“Now you have a man I know that I wont be seeing you or talking to you as much anymore, anyway *sigh* it was nice hanging out with you and I hope everything works out” HUH???? Honestly what the fuck! I was like “chic you live 500m from my house and so I will def be seeing you as for talking to you – I will call but dang don’t you have a phone too!” The most common one has been “where will we go now?” My house tends to be party central, half way house, hospital, hostel, hotel and whatever people need it to be – now people are freaking out because the proverbial honeymoon may soon be over as when The Boy is around I do NOT want people turning up will nilly.
For what should really just be two people getting to know each other there is a hell of a lot of fuss about what could turn out to be nothing.
October 16, 2009 - Posted by Daughter of Eve - 0 Comments
I am extremely stressed out today…
Voldermort is acting up and I am getting more and more frustrated with his special brand of Bullsh*t! Honestly can we just get divorced already!!!! I sometimes sit back and wonder how a feeling that I was once so sure was love, proper love, forever love has rotted and decayed into a maggot ridden feeling akin with HATRED!!!!! Ok now I know Hate is s strong word but seriously lately I have been fantasizing about kicking him in the head until the “white meat shows” grrrrrrr I am so angry, infact I am beyond angry I am feeling homicidal.
This marriage thing has been dragging on for so long now that it has begun to feel like a noose around my neck which slowly tightens every time I try wriggle away and I seriously feel like I am at the end and am choking, blue lips eyes bulging wheezing - the works. I amaze myself ………I am amazed that I have managed to hold it together for so long but peeps I am at breaking point! I have always maintained that I am too cute for jail - but heck - I aint that cute!
I guess I am doubly angry because I fear that this ish with Voldermort will spill over and threaten my new relationship. No one wants to be with a woman with baggage and I don’t want to be that person moaning about her ex boyfriend drama to the new man. Infact I think I have already have brought too much of this drama into my new relationship as it stands and so I have decided to just weather it alone, I won tell The Boy anything about Voldermort even if it kills me. Which will be hard because I wont be able to fully confide in him about things that are happening in my life but I think its for the best. So my main priority for now is just to get DIVORCED!!!! honestly that man (Voldermort) should just thank God that 20% of the whole worlds CCTV is in he UK - that is the only thing stopping me from unleashing a big can of “whip ass” on him - as I said I am too cute for jail and with all these damn cameras around my ass would get caught in a heart beat.
I sometimes wish I was ghetto - you know so ghetto that I would corner him in the street and get real loud, and shout obscenities at the top of my voice whilst jerking my neck and jabbing him in the chest with my index finger- maybe even throw a punch or two all the while not giving a damn what everyone else thinks! (KMT) Kissing -my -teeth!!
The next thing that is freaking me out today is the prospect of conducting a long distance love affair. Ok granted I should have though about this BEFORE I got involved but now I am in this, I am just worried about how I will cope. I have done LDL (long distance love) before - for two years infact and that did not end very well, understandably, because we were at such different stages in our lives! He was at Uni - I was living in Switzerland and we were both experiencing different things and could no longer relate to one another. Also we were apart longer than we were together so with the best will in the world that fell apart (even though everyone thinks he and I will one day get back together make lovely chocolate brown kids and grow old together - that’s another post all together)
I have been fretting a bit about how this thing with The Boy will work - will we see each other on weekends? Every other weekend? etc Its been a while since I dated but one of the things that I like about being with someone is the intimacy and closeness. Can I cope with being in a situation where I potentially will see someone as little as once a month? Then when you do see each other try cram in as much “couply time ” as possible before one/both of you has to go. I think I will find it hard not being able to link up for a quick kiss and a coffee after work or to just crawl into bed with someone and be held on days when life gets you down. Or just do random stuff like go to dinner/ the cinema on a whim. That’s just the emotional stuff, there I also the financial and practical stuff as well.
Ok he lives FAR away - which in itself is not a big deal but I worry about the financial impact that it will have on him if he keeps having to travel down to see me ( he has more flexibility so it makes sense for him to come down for now -his choice not mine) I feel bad, and there is a small part of me that is worried that one day he wont be bothered to make the journey anymore or may resent me. And practical stuff in that because time together will be limited I don’t want it to be a big clingfest ! In an ideal situ we would hang out do stuff, maybe link up with friends go out etc at the moment I don’t even want that! I just want to spend time alone with him and no one else to get into his head a bit see how his mind works, cuddle and do what *ahem* grown folks do. I feel like I want him all to myself for a bit and don’t want to share him! (Sméagol from Lord of the Rings springs to mind. Mine!! My precious!!)
I don’t know guys, I have not dated in a while because I was waiting and praying for a certain type of man. And now I am seeing someone who on paper goes against most of the things on my “checklist” (and to be honest I don’t think that he envisioned being saddled with some married chick with soon-to -be-ex-hubby-drama either) and I am scared because I am at risk of really liking him and I vowed that I would go into things with my eyes wide open. It’s still too early to get worked up about anything but I also don’t want to drift along and then wake up one day and realize that I am in a situation that I cant handle. I guess the diva in me wants to be in a relationship where my feelings are reciprocated, where I can feel secure and desirable , where I can have as much quality time ( and sex LOL) as I want. I guess I want companionship and I am scared that he wont be there in the ways /on the days that I need him.
Have any of you done LDL? How did you do it?
October 13, 2009 - Posted by Daughter of Eve - 4 Comments
I Love Paris!
Parisian Swagger
I love my job!
I rarely say that infact my job and I have a love hate relationship but I have just been on a business trip that has made me love my job even more. I have been travelling a lot with work a lot recently and just spent the loveliest 48hrs on Paris. Normally when I got to Paris I don’t ever actually stop to take in the sights. I rush about from meeting to meeting and never stop enough to catch my breath but yesterday was different. I got done with my meetings and had a little time to move around and really absorb the Parisian swagger. Blonde ladies with big hair and big fur coats walking ridiculously small dogs. Trendy twenty somethings with perfect hair casually reclining in wooden chairs on sidewalk cafes sipping on espresso. Rude and unfriendly taxi drivers zooming around at impossible speeds. The tree line boulevards and the amazing bread wine and cheese. Last night I went to my favourite place Buddah bar
for dinner and cocktails.
A little bit of heaven on earth
And unlike most times I am in Paris I actually took the Metro this time which was great as I got to walk around a bit and I must say that there is definitely something very romantic about Paris at night. Maybe it’s the little tree lined boulevards or maybe it’s the Arc de Triomphe bathed in moonlight, perhaps it was the Eiffel Tower last night twinkling away draped in what looked like a million fairy lights - I don’t know what it was but last night I fell in love with Paris. The architecture the whole vybe.
Eiffel Tower at night
That coupled with the fact that I stayed in the most amazing hotel ever made it one of the best business trips I have had. I stayed at the Sofitel Luxury hotel and boy was it luxurious it exuded quality and sumptuousness from the minute you step into the lobby and they hand you some hand made sparkling fruity cocktail thingy that you sip on casually whilst they check you in, the person that checks you in also carries your bags up to your room and takes you on a tour of the room showing you the various fixtures and features and checks to make sure that the room meets your requirements. Seriously when the dude put my bags down I almost burst out laughing. Requirements?? I alsmost did a little jig of joy. I love hotels in Europe because you get what you pay for -this hotel is mad expensive and the service reflects that. Unlike the bullshit that I experienced in South Africa TWICE in different hotels during the past 12 months - in fact Sun City is probably the WORST HOTEL I have stayed in EVER (but thats another post)
The Hotel room - Luxury
Then there was the room……man!! The bed was HUGE I think it was a queen size and it was the most comfy thing I have ever slept in. It felt like a water bed but wasn’t and was just lush. The room had ipod docking station, bose speakers, wooden desk, Hermes toiletries a bath tub big enough for 3 adults basically it was the shit!! And this morning I was driven to my meeting in a chauffer driven car complete with a dude in full chauffer kit and nice little sweets in a chiffon bag tied in ribbon. I must say it was great being pampered. My meetings went really well - which is an added bonus so all my hard work over the past 10 months has paid off!
Things are going well with the Boy as well and we spent a lovely couple of days together last weekend (my birthday weekend) just talking watching DVD’s and generally getting to know each other better. It was one of the best birthdays I have ever had. I got loads of presents had a wicked B day party ( Super hero themed) and the boy gave me one of the best presents of all…he gave me intimacy
All in an all I am very happy girl I am back at uni and life seems to be moving in the right direction. I just need to get rid of Voldemort who I am desperate to get rid off especially since he seems to be getting shadier and shadier KMT (kiss my teeth!!) honestly that man is working my last nerve and I don’t know how much more I can take! I also just want to be free to enjoy my new relationship with out any pre-existing bullshit.
Oh and before I forget for those of you who pray please join me in praying for the exoneration of Roy Bennett!
October 6, 2009 - Posted by Daughter of Eve - 1 Comment
The beginning of something is often better than its end……
I am in a bit of a muddled mood today. After my last post things have galloped along so fast that I have not had much time to take it all in let alone catch my breath! I have gone back to school, nearly lost a best friend and have fallen both in and out of love with myself. In love with my self because I am pleased that I have managed to do all the things that I set out to do – well almost (I am still trying to buy a flat but can’t decide which country to buy in ) and I want to save more. I feel good within myself and for the first time in ages I can look at my life and truly say that it is well. I am healthy and God has blessed me in so many ways and after being under attack I mean chatted up/romanced/serenaded/paraded and debated about I think I have met someone decent.
Out of love with my self because there are still loads of things that I am not happy with in my life yet. I feel that I have grown and changed but I have now found that now that I am confronted with the potential opportunity to start something great with someone I am still that indecisive and nervous and vulnerable person that I was trying to get away from! I don’t know whether I can actually bear the thought of letting someone close to me again. I don’t know how to behave anymore – (being myself has just landed me where I am now) I don’t trust my sense of judgment anymore.
I met a guy and I like him and I think he likes me back and that scares me! I don’t know I guess I will have to take it one day at a time and see where I end up. I just don’t want to free fall ….I feel like I am bungee jumping into a dark crater and I am not sure of the depth of the drop or the length of the chord.
The beginning of things is great ..the first kiss…….the late night phone calls when you talk for hours …getting to know someone…..the flattery …that phase when everything about you is great ! The phase before you start getting on each others nerves, the phase when your voice irritates him, the phase when you pass through the house like ships in the night and hardly touch anymore. I guess I became disillusioned with love when what I thought was love walked away. If I was ever to find love again would I even recognize it? Would I trust its voice and hold its hand if it reached out to me?
One day at a time is my motto these days , people are full of advice and well meaning tit bits of information - self help books (which I despise) make it all seem so easy I have just finished a book on dating like Christian woman should and I almost laughed out loud at a lot of what was written. When did I become so cynical? Quite a few people I know are getting divorced ( its an epidemic) and I am saddened and scared.
I guess its too late to start panicking really ……… I am kind of seeing this guy now………………. I am not quite sure where I stand with him yet….I am afraid
September 8, 2009 - Posted by Daughter of Eve - 3 Comments
So your relationship is on its last legs , your man is on the verge of walking away for good, you are stressed out and feel desperate so you think “I know! I will have a baby and he will realise how much he loves me and we will stay together and play happy families forever right? “ WRONG!
Why do some women think that this shit works, in fact it never works, most of the time the guys bolt before the baby is born or if you are lucky and he feels a bit bad he may stick around till after the baby is born. Heck he may even stay a few months /years. I unfortunately the inevitable happens HE IS GOING TO LEAVE YOU. Even if he does not physically walk away , he will cheat and guess what he will resent you.
I have come across one too many women who have tried to pull/have pulled this shit and the one that suffers most is a baby. I just don’t get it ! In fact a cousin of mine just tried to do this to her man and guess what he secretly swabbed the babys DNA , sent it to a lab and it emerged that it was not his!
Its these women that end up lamenting about how harsh life is and complaining about how crap these men are at looking after their kids.
I would love to get a mans perspective on this.
In this day and age all that honour stuff is dead these days if you get knocked up more often than not the guy will drive you to the nearest abortion clinic or tell you where to go. I actually know a guy in Zim who killed himself because he got a girl preggers and his parents were trying to force him to marry her.
My friends and I have a term for this type of scenario its called having a baby trap-a-brother I know someone who is miserable as hell coz she lost the man AND she is stuck with the baby. Its not only mere mortals that do this. Usher got trapped by that nasty Tameka! The Dream has been trapped by Christina Milian (not that the guys are innocent)
I am intrigued and a bit horrified when I think of the lengths that some women will go to in order to trap/keep a man. Having a baby is top of that list, I would never fight for a man (fisticuffs are not my style and I am too cute for jail), I would never stay with a man that I knew was cheating (I know a chick who KNOWS her man is screwing around but she stays coz he earns almost 100k £) I am definitely too scared to catch aids and I will never stay with a man that hits me just for the sake of having a man. Shit my soon to be ex husband bounced and I let that *fool walk because I respect and love myself too much.
Women amaze me - how far would you go to hang on to a man?
September 3, 2009 - Posted by Daughter of Eve - 2 Comments
Ok so its been a while…I know…. there is so much I need to blog about but for today I thought I would just moan about 10 things that really make me mad:
1/ Black men with relaxed hair!! Why huh?? WHY? I hate this it looks so wrong. Peeps should just accept the mufushwa and accept that they can not get that whole white- boy- flow. It is hideous - STOP IT (this actually includes Gerry curls and other oily crimes against hairmanity)
2/Men in skinny jeans…grrrrr this looks wrong on every man I have seen this on. I rue the day that Russell Brand started this stupid trend
3/ Fluorescent suits- some things should just stay in the 80’s I am all for a splash of colour but a man in a hot pink suit but REALLY!
4/ Men with those ugly pink rings..soooo not cool
5/ Men with long finger nails (especially that long pinky nail) yuck! Why do they do this? Fellas a little help please?
6/ Briefs……..some may disagree but they are the most unsexy thing on a man…… ever …….seriously men in knickers …just does not do it for me.
7/Corny pick up lines! My girlfriends and I were out on Friday and some fool tried to bring his “A” game to mack on my friend. It went a little something like this……”hey babe, everyone in here is a loser so here is what we are going to do, in about 15mins we will leave here and go back to my place where I will do unspeakable things to you and make you feel so good you wont be able to walk, after that you can spend the night and in the morning we can do breakfast” Now ladies and gents what part of that sounds remotely appealing!! Who wants to be man handled to the point of disability? I like walking fuck you very much!!
8/Promiscuous people who brag about it- it may seem fun now …but lest see who is laughing when it starts burning when you pee!!
9/ People who can’t let go of their past high school glory days!! Who cares if you played rugby first team in high school or were a bad ass athlete! That was 14years ago …let go……think /talk /be about the now. I personally feel it’s the underachievers that like to cling onto past glory days! And also what does it matter what school I went to? This is a question that makes me want to do one of those Van Dammesque spinning kicks! This is a very shallow way of determining someone’s “class” and trying to put people into boxes…why???
10/People who don’t close their mouths when they chew…..eeeeeeeeeww
11/ (I know that I said 10 but hey bloggers prerogative) African boys that try be gangster and hood! The hood is something that black people are struggling to get out of not something to aspire to and try emulate! Why are there little black boys walking around with half their asses hanging out , wearing jeans and shirts 5 sizes too small speaking Ebonics and trying to be something that they are not? What makes me laugh is it’s the little rich kids with fake American accents. Some of these kids know more about New York than Harare. Don’t forget your roots …living here has shown me that as much as you may try imitate them and blend in you will always be an African from Zimbabwe
*WOMP!!*
August 11, 2009 - Posted by Daughter of Eve - 1 Comment
I have decided that my inner ho must have ADDH I mean honestly the bitch won’t behave! I have been perving over practically EVERYTHING that moves and I have also realised that I am reverting to my former Modus Operandi with guys. Historically, I like em fair and bulky. I dont know why - it may be something to do with the fact that my first boyfriend was a mixed race martial arts black belt who was “physically fit” In every sense of the word. Since then i have never really deviated bar one or two skinny dudes. My friends on the other hand are the opposite. I sent a group e-mail around with my top 5 most shaggable men and the results shocked everyone but me. So without further ado………drum roll please………..
Maxwell, Micheal Ealy,The Rock, LL Cool J and yes………the wild card Tyrese!! ladies that body !! (besides everyone needs a little dark chocolate from time to time)
Before the hair cut
Yum yum honestly people were throwing names at me like Djimon Hounsou - REALLY???? that guys scares the shit out of me! So ladies as you feast your eyes on the pictures below - tell me do you have a type?
Part of me feels damn shallow but i have a weekness for sweetness! I mean its not that I would reject someone if they were dark or skinny (Voldemort weighs 63kg!) its just that on my little utopian planet in my head all the men would look like these fine hunks of burning love. LOL there are a few other men who would def make it into my top 10 including Takeshi Kanshiro (yum) and maybe Columbus Short…………the possibilities are endless!
July 1, 2009 - Posted by Daughter of Eve - 0 Comments
A friend of mine recently told me about a movie she watched a couple of weeks ago. There was a particular scene in the movie where 2 people were involved in some kind of skirmish and one was knifed to death. The murderer picked up his phone in a panic and phoned a friend and told him to come over with some bin liners a knife and some tape and the friend promptly sprang into action , assembled the items he had been asked to get, hopped into his car and hot tailed it to the other side of town where his friend was waiting. This got my friend and i thinking about who we would call in a similar situation / at a time of crisis and without even needing to think about it i knew who my bin bag, knife and tape crew would be! Do you? I may not have murdered anyone but the members of my bin bag and knife crew have stuck by me through thick and thin, held me back when i have felt like i might kill someone and have lifted me up when i was down (they have also helped me plot and scheme)
When i was younger I had a multitude of friends ( i still do) its only later on in life when you start to truly see and value their worth. One of the first people on my list is my friend KK she is my vacationing partner, she is funny and witty and is the only person i know who can burn their eyebrows off with fire and electrocute them selves at the same, not realise that rollerblading and baking do not go together, give herself food poisoning and cycle to work in the rain with a bin bag over her body as a makeshift raincoat! If I was to one day be the ruler of a small island she would be my minister of Culture and entertainment because she is well travelled, she is the first in line when good shows, plays, orchestras and bands are in town. She is fun but not that crazy scary fun where you don’t know if you will come of sh*t alive! She is also a spiritual giant and is a good person to speak to when you are on the verge of committing a terrible thing as she will encourage you to pray …whilst she starts assembling weapons LOL!!
The next is my friend who for the purpose of this blog I will call “GOLDEN” this is my girl! From our first meeting at school when we became firm friends whilst sitting outside out English class preparing to be blasted by the teacher for not doing our homework this chick has always been there. She was my look out when i needed one, my drinking buddy, my ally and part time enemy. Even in high school she did not do “judgement” she just let you get on with it. I love this chick because there is no shame in her game! she is who she is and if you don’t like it don’t look. we can speak candidly and honesty to each other and on my small Utopian island she would be minister of defence because my girl has a crazy violent side!
Next on my list is T-nasty she would be my Information and Finance minister because my girl does not mince her words. She is straight up and in your face when she needs to be. She is embarking on her third degree and is an all round solid and driven chick. She also is very good with her money and manages to keep her spending in check without being tight! She is great to party with and has my back 100%
Minister if Hedonistic Pursuits would be my friend C she can party like no one else i have ever met in MY LIFE. Not only has she got a very senior job with one of the biggest hedge funds in the UK but she has a work hard party even harder attitude which leaves me stunned. Last year I mentioned that i was going to Shanghai on hols 3 days before i was due to fly out and she bought a ticket and jumped on the plane with me 2 days later. She takes spontaneity to lofty heights and I give her 10/10 for stamina 
D-licious would def be on my bin bag and knife list. She is one of my closest friends and i must say the girl has GAME. I met her when she was dating a man and i remember her declaring very matter of factly that she would be married with in six months (bearing in mind he had not proposed and her in laws disapproved of her) I don’t know how she did it but she did and has the ring to prove it WOOMP!!! She would me my minister of Game and Tactics because she is a pro..the stories this girl has told me sound like something out of a movie…she has talked herself out of some crazy nigerian moviesque situations and she has a killer sense of humor to boot
Last on this list is my girl Tatadelicious who would be my minister for Morality for beautiful girls and Spirituality. No one else I know has held out from doing the nasty for 2 years with her man and waiting till marriage because of her christian principles. She does not only talk about it but she is about it and and i respect that. She is also on fire for the lord without getting preachy with it and can throw down on the dance floor with the best of them.
I am blessed to be surrounded by such strong beautiful powerful women (there are too many to list) and should i ever win the Euromillions Lottery and buy a small country - believe me it would be one crazy place!
My anthem for this summer is Doneo - Party Hard - this sounds so good blasting from some heavy speakers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aS2QtS8TFHQ&feature=related
June 30, 2009 - Posted by Daughter of Eve - 2 Comments
So it has been ages since I updated my blog. I have been so ridiculously busy that I have had very little time to do much of anything. So much has happened but the thing that has been weighing on my mind is MEN or should I say the lack thereof!
I have been speaking to several friends recently who have been complaining about getting too much “loving” from their men. In fact my friend Goldens’ man is so horny that she has had to sleep in a semi sitting up position so he could not get to her “goodies” - we spent an hour on the phone talking about the steps she has had to take to guard her own ass because her new man is a 5 rounds-a -night kind of brother.
Another friend is quite smug at the fact that her hubby has just had his appendix removed and cant do any “strenuous excersize” for 4 weeks. And my friend Crazy legs can’t even bake these days as a few weeks ago she was bending over to get some muffins out of the oven and her man “pounced”
Now with everyone complaining about getting an “overdose” of Vitamin S I seem to be the only one in my crew suffering from a serious deficiency. In fact I have been on drought for so long that my mates are threatening to send a letter to the Hague to beg the UN to send “food aid”
Seriously, things are dire and now I am starting to regret not hooking up with Mcfraud for a little bit.
The problem with that idea is that my withdrawal symptoms would have been even worse!! Think crack head fresh out of rehab being given a little hit of coke!
I had to go cold turkey when hubby absconded and that was hard but was made easier by the fact that just the thought of him made me want to puke. Now I am at a any dude will do phase which is NOT GOOD.
I have started seriously looking at men in such a fucked up way and instead of looking at their faces my eyes keep trailing south …and I mean way south- have MERCY!
I watched Twilight the other night and found myself day dreaming about the lead actor Robert Pattinson who is totally not even my type.
All I am saying is people shouldn’t have naked flames near me because I will definitely go up in flames like a pylon of timber.
I have started to focus my “energy” on something more productive and so I am on a very strict diet. I have stuck with it for 2 weeks so far and have lost almost 8kg’s which is not bad in my books. Voldemort and I are nearly through and will start formal divorce proceedings in about 8 weeks. My friends are planning the BIGGEST divorce party ever ! We are calling it the Emancipation party and are going to go buck wild!!
Before I go I have a random question for y’all……I was recently invited to a “big girls only” night and I don’t know whether to be offended or not! I mean yeah I have plenty of junk in my trunk but I think it’s a bit fetishy- what think you??
May 9, 2009 - Posted by Daughter of Eve - 1 Comment
The constant sound of sirens in my ears is beginning to vex me. I feel perturbed , raw - there has just been a huge accident just outside my flat and the road is crammed with police cars, ambulances, cars belonging to specialist doctors the works. I was chilling at home (read SLEEPING) when my cousin called me to say that she was coming to park her car in my driveway so that she could walk the approx 200 meters to the station and get the tube into town to meet her man. She only lives around the corner and so I went downstairs expecting her to appear any second and she did on foot . She explained that the police had cordoned off the road just before my house and that’s when I took a really good look and saw that the road was cordoned off both ways. I walked her part of the way to the station and we literally had to cross the road and walk through the park in order to get past the cordoned off area and as we walked that’s when I saw the enormity of it. 4 cars and several bits of debris littered the road. One car was overturned and there were people trapped inside. Crowds had begun to form of either end of the road and on either end of the cordon effectively boxing the accident area in. Now I must admit that I looked as I walked past, driven by some kind of morbid curiosity - also the fact that I trained as a nurse once upon a time and have seen my fair share of guts and blood has meant that I am not squeamish about these things. I left my cousin near the station and headed back home and that’s when I took a good look at the crowd, people had camera phones out and were taking videos , others were running from their homes and chattering in excited glee, grown women and men holding their young children in their arms creeping closer and closer to the police tape to get a better look (why would you bring your kids out of your home to see blood/guts/what looked like certain death) Across the road from me there was an old man with a big camera taking pictures and that’s when I began to feel sick. What is wrong with people? No one seemed particularly worried about the people trapped inside -the crowds just seemed to have some kind of blood lust- people scrambling for a better view of the mangled kids in the car, of the ambulances, of the police in fact there was only one guy who seemed visibly shaken. Some dudes even tried to chat my cousin and I up, right there, by the broken glass and a scene so horrific it made my blood run cold.
It was a painful reminder of my own mortality. In a week where I have been to the doctors for a lump in my breast, been informed that my last blood test showed abnormal liver function results , bumped into the ex boyfriend of the woman my soon to be ex husband has shacked up with, been feeling generally out of sorts and this week has not been a very good week. I feel anxious, agitated, stressed out and very VERY vulnerable.
I don’t know ..sometimes I despair, mankind seems to have lost all sense of humanity. Death is all around me in the papers, on the news, on the streets I guess its inevitable but sometimes I wish it wasn’t so in your face.
