Daughter of Eve

So your relationship is on its last  legs , your man is on the verge of walking away for good, you are stressed out and feel desperate so you think “I know! I will have a baby and he will realise how much he loves me and we will stay together and play happy families forever right? “ WRONG!
Why do some women think that this shit works, in fact it never works, most of the time the guys bolt before the baby is born or if you are lucky and he feels a bit bad he may stick around till after  the baby is born. Heck he may even stay a few months /years. I unfortunately the inevitable happens HE IS GOING TO LEAVE YOU. Even if he does not physically walk away , he will cheat and guess what he will resent you.

I have come across one too many women who have tried to pull/have pulled this shit and the one that suffers most is a baby. I just don’t get it ! In fact a cousin of mine just tried to do this to her man and guess what he secretly swabbed the babys DNA , sent it to a lab and it emerged that it was not his!
Its these women that end up lamenting about how harsh life is and complaining about how crap these men are at looking after their kids.

I would love to get a mans perspective on this.

In this day and age all that honour stuff is dead these days if you get knocked up more often than not the guy will drive you to the nearest abortion clinic or tell you where to go.  I actually know a guy in Zim who killed himself because he got a girl preggers and his parents were trying to force him to marry her.

My friends and I have a term for this type of scenario its called having a baby trap-a-brother I know someone who  is miserable as hell coz she lost the man AND she is stuck with the baby.  Its not only mere mortals that do this. Usher got trapped by that nasty Tameka! The Dream has been trapped by Christina Milian (not that the guys are innocent)

I am intrigued and a bit horrified when I think of the lengths that some women will go to in order to trap/keep a man.  Having a baby is top of that list, I would never fight for a man (fisticuffs are not my style and I am too cute for jail), I would never stay with a man that I knew was cheating (I know a chick who KNOWS her man is screwing around but she stays coz he earns almost 100k £) I  am definitely too scared to catch aids and I  will never stay with a man that hits me just for the sake of having a man. Shit my soon to be ex husband bounced and I let that *fool walk because I respect and love myself too much.

Women amaze me - how far would you go to hang on to a man?

Ok so its been a while…I know…. there is so much I need to blog about but for today I thought I would just moan about 10 things that really make me mad:

1/ Black men with relaxed hair!! Why huh?? WHY? I hate this it looks so wrong. Peeps should just accept the mufushwa and accept that they can not get that whole white- boy- flow. It is hideous - STOP IT (this actually includes Gerry curls and other oily crimes against hairmanity)

2/Men in skinny jeans…grrrrr this looks wrong on every man I have seen this on. I rue the day that Russell Brand started this stupid trend

3/ Fluorescent suits- some things should just stay in the 80’s I am all for a splash of colour but a man in a hot pink suit but REALLY!

4/ Men with those ugly pink rings..soooo not cool

5/ Men with long finger nails (especially that long pinky nail) yuck! Why do they do this? Fellas a little help please?

6/ Briefs……..some may disagree but they are the most unsexy thing on a man…… ever …….seriously men in knickers …just does not do it for me.

7/Corny pick up lines! My girlfriends and I were out on Friday and some fool tried to bring his “A” game to mack on my friend. It went a little something like this……”hey babe, everyone in here is a loser so here is what we are going to do, in about 15mins we will leave here and go back to my place where I will do unspeakable things to you and make you  feel so good you wont be able to walk, after that you can spend the night and in the morning we can do breakfast” Now ladies and gents what part of that sounds remotely appealing!! Who wants to be man handled to the point of disability?  I like walking fuck you very much!!

8/Promiscuous people who brag about it- it may seem fun now …but lest see who is laughing when it starts burning when you pee!!

9/ People who can’t let go of their past high school glory days!! Who cares if you played rugby first team in high school or were a bad ass athlete! That was 14years ago …let go……think /talk /be about the now. I personally feel it’s the underachievers that like to cling onto past glory days! And also what does it matter what school I went to? This is a question that makes me want to do one of those Van Dammesque spinning kicks! This is a very shallow way of determining someone’s “class” and trying to put people into boxes…why???

10/People who don’t close their mouths when they chew…..eeeeeeeeeww

11/ (I know that I said 10 but hey bloggers prerogative) African boys that try be gangster and hood!  The hood is something that black people are struggling to get out of not something to aspire to and try emulate! Why are there little black boys walking around with half their asses hanging out , wearing jeans and shirts 5 sizes too small speaking Ebonics and trying to be something that they are not?  What makes me laugh is it’s the little rich kids with fake American accents. Some of these kids know more about New York than Harare. Don’t forget your roots …living here has shown me that as much as you may try imitate them and blend in you will always be an African from Zimbabwe

*WOMP!!*