Nov 14 2009

Duvet day and Inherited Guilt

duvetThe weather in London is CRAP today! Its raining bucket loads and all week on telly and in the papers they have been banging on about how this weekend is going to go down in the record books for the most rainfall.  I went out with the girls last night and had a great time - Half price drinks, me and my girls and guys good music and on the plus side i managed to catch the last tube home so it was a nice cheap and cheerful Friday.

I also managed to speak to The Boy yesterday and it is well and truly over between us. I guess there were just some things that I could not overlook.  I feel awful, I guess after being single for so long I thought that I had found someone that I could possibly have some kind of future with but alas its just not to be. If anything I have discovered that I am less willing to compromise my happiness than I would have been in the past.  I used to be a bit of a walkover.  That having been said  I think he is a genuinely lovely person and really funny and  I hope that we can maintain our friendship. I guess we tested the waters and decided  that it was not meant to be. I am actually relieved that we spoke as I had a horrible week because I could not help fretting and as a result I was not really able to sleep. I am one of those people who can’t go to bed angry or with unresolved issues. This  week without rhyme or reason he went incognito for 5 days no emails or texts NADA.  He contacted me yesterday I could’nt  mask my disappointment.  Call me needy but I just don’t think this is normal behaviour for someone who you are supposed to be in a relationship with especially since I had a really nasty fall (I fell down a flight of stairs) last week.  Anyway I am not blaming him as he has alot on his plate, I just need a bit more consistency and when it boils down to I think its a compatibility issue.  Although we spoke I cant help feeling desperately guilty even though he froze me out and refused to see me and did not speak to me for days..there is still that small part of me that feels like its my fault?? Weird or what? Anyways I feel alot more peaceful today and treated myself to a duvet day! The lack of sleep took  its toll on me and I am knackered.

My girl VimfromZim tagged me in this and so here goes…

I have just been tagged Here are the rules:

1. You can only use one word!

2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers.

3. Alert them that you have given them this award!

4. Have Fun!

The Survey

1. Where is your cell phone?

Sofa 2. Your hair? Mohawk

3. Your mother? Survivor

4. Your father? Hero

5. Your favorite food? Italian

6. Your dream last night? None (I did not dream it was more like an alcohol induced coma)

7. Your favorite drink? Gin

8. Your dream/goal? Success

9. What room are you in? Lounge

10. Your hobby? Writing

11. Your fear? Death

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Re-married with Kids

13. Where were you last night? Bar APT

14. Something that you aren’t? Patient

15. Muffins? Blueberry

16. Wish list item? New Books

17. Where did you grow up? Harare

18. Last thing you did? Eat dinner

19. What are you wearing? T shirt ,Knickers and pink fluffy slippers (Hey dont judge! Its a Duvet day!!)

20. Your TV? CSI

21. Your pets? I have a ” pet” rabbit ;-) God bless Anne Summers

22. Friends? Motivators

23. Your life? On the brink of a breakthrough

24. Your mood? So laid back I am almost parallel to the floor

25. Missing someone? The BOY

26. Vehicle? I am a public transport wench and don’t have a license

27. Something you’re not wearing? Trousers

28. Your favorite store? Ikea

29. Your favorite color? Blue

30. When was the last time you laughed? About 2 hrs ago whilst reminiscing on the phone with Dlicious abt Last nights shenanigans. (lets just say I was pulled into a drunk white dude sandwich dance last night- I was the filling and it got UGLY *shudders*)

31. Last time you cried? Two weeks ago

32. Your best friend? Co-conspirator

33. One place that I go to over and over? Dim Sum restaurant near work

34. One person who e-mails me regularly? T Nasty

35. Favorite place to eat? Dim Sum restaurant near work

I would like to nominate……………drum roll please….

My girls, Pretty Poet, Freerangetomato, atasteofangelcake, Peasontoast

There are loads of others but they have all been tagged already.

Enjoy your weekends wherever you are.

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Nov 10 2009

Girls nights out and Nigerian Swagger

 

 

lemar_800The past 10 days have been kind of mad.  Last weekend was AMAZING because I got to see the love of my life, future baby daddy, sexiest man alive general hunk of burning love aka MAXWELL!!  I went to his first London concert in 11 years with a few mates and I must say the man did not disappoint.  The man has some SERIOUS sex appeal and there were some women sitting in the row behind me who were having mini orgasms every time he gyrated – the fact that he did some risqué moves that involved grinding the stage did not help and in one of the vids I took the singing is drowned out by the heifer behind me groaning and moaning LOUDLY!!  I was not sure whether to give her a drink of water to cool her down or a slap for distracting me from the deliciousness that was taking place on stage!!!!  My friends and I knew every word to every song and when his security people were distracted I made my way  towards the stage ninja style and  got some great pics. The ticket was a bday prezzie from Dlicioius ( great seats about 8 rows from the stage)  and was probably the BEST present ever check out some highlights below:

HOT

 

Doing his thing

 

 

 

Action Man

The next couple of days after the concert were a mega downer as I was really ill with a bad cold  and just when I was feeling better last Thursday I fell down a flight of stairs at the train station (the shame of it all) and ended up being out of action for a few days. I felt better shungu and went out on Sat with my sis (who is here on business from Shanghai) and a few girlfriends and we ended up in Steam bar at the Hilton hotel in Paddington.

 

 I had never been but a Nigerian mate of mine had mentioned it in passing and so after dinner and bar hopping we ended  up there.  Its always funny observing mating rituals clubbing habits of different ethnic groups when I go to predominantely European clubs it seems that it all a laugh you can go dance drink your ass of and snog one or two random strangers then go home alone or with afore mentioned stranger and its all gravy.  When I have gone to South African ( Zim, SA, Tanzania) clubs its about looking good, drinking and busting your best moves while maintaining the sexiness and dancing,slowinding grinding with a cute guy who may or may not buy you a drink then going home alone having exchanged numbers in these clubs the guys tend to favour the hip hopish way of dressing jeans Timblands. In the West African bars esp Nigerian bars its ALL about the pose.

 

Man I have not seem so much designer gear in one room!  Bottles of Champagne, Grey Goose, every liquor under the sun.  The men were looking fresh to death.  I like west African swagger – I find (well here anyway)  they have more of an European influence in their dressing and I like it. There is something very appealing about a well groomed man.  The ladies were looking good to but the guys stole the show.  There was not much dancing from the guys either – it seemed like it was about flexing their financial muscle cue Champers and designer threads,  most just sat there and watched the ladies do their thing then oh so smoothly  (some dudes are NOT so smooth) try holla. 

 

 I laughed at my mate when this one guy pulled her to one side and just said – “I cook” she stared at him blankly and was like “huh”

Then he goes “I am a microbiologist and I cook” LMAO! She looked at him and said “that’s nice” and walked off. Some other dude was macking on my girl  hard and was like I will do anything for a dance with you – I will even give you £1000 – WTF!

 

I will give west African dudes an “A” for persistence and an A plus for confidence.  Man, some dudes in there were like 65 years old and were still trying to throw their best mack sugar daddy game down. The music was good and we did not get hassled too much so all in all it was a good night I even have a new fave Naija song – Bummper to Bumper by Wande Coal

I did not like the fact that half the club was wearing shades! Also I find that the whole I drink Crystal- coz i have so much money -look a bit pretentious as all I wanna do is dance and have fun when I go out.

 

I danced my booty off on my sore foot and kept myself to myself.  Things with the boy are totally on the rocks at the moment and I don’t think that I am cut out for long distance loving.  I have also realized that my bullshit threshold is next to Zero these days and after spending so long pining for a relationship I think I am about ready to do the singe thing again…*sigh*

 

Back to the drawing board……….

 

 

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Feb 15 2009

They hail you then nail you no matter who you are….From sugar to shit

 Ok, I am disgusted by the response to this whole Chris Brown vs Rihanna story. Firstly what happened to innocent till proven guilty.  I am not a fan of either party but i am disturbed by the ammount of crap that is comming from both camps.  According to “friends” this is not the first time she has allegedly been thumped- WTF! who are these so called friends and why did they wait until NOW to speak up? Apparently she gave him an STD…Herpes to be precise..again i think whoever leaked this little beauty (if its true) should be flogged publicly!! Again there are some places people really dont need to go - and down to whats happening in people’s nether regions is one of them. I was saddened by his ex step dads interview as well when he made some snide remark about “not being suprised” that Chris allegedly hit Rihanna.  The messed up thing is that he (Chris) has already been dropped by Wriggleys and the Milk people) because they are very protective about “their brand and the image it portrays” thier actions and those of several radio stations etc basically confirm that the brotha has been tried and convicted and basically hanged before the full details emerge.  The truth of the matter is we will never really know everything Miss Rihanna has had her fair share of bad press over on these shores due to her surly and down right divaish behaviour and now people are trying to put her up on some pedastal and make her the poster child for womens rights!!! Ummmm…….I DONT THINK SO! She and her “people” are playing a very tactical game, in fact  wonder how many of these leaking stories and character assasinations originated from each individual camp.  Mr Brown better do something though as his continued silence has done nothing but whet the publics appetite and soon people will be baying for his blood!  The media has portrayed him as every single stereotype there is that exists about black men its a shame really I watched “This Christmas” a movie that he was in last year and he did not do too badly as one of the main characters now he will probably only get offered roles in John Singleton movies LOL!!!! (that was mean i know) I dont know guys talk about going from Sugar to Shit…………..

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Jun 3 2008

Wandirasa………

Wow,

I feel like I have been karate kicked in the solar plexus in fact to use a WWF analogy I feel like I have been put in a Full Nelson then Tombstoned – lol ( I blame the lady that did my hair – 6 hours of WWE and I am a pro lol)  I received a call from totally out of the blue.  Its all been so unexpected.  Today I look like something from the land of the living dead – my eyes are puffy and my back aches from lack of sleep and I feel like I want to throw up!  I never knew nerves could do this to you!! I just don’t know what to do or expect and to be honest this whole thing has taken me right back to square one- or should I say ground zero, dazed and standing in the debris of what was a “happy and fulfilling” relationship.

I don’t know what his angle or agenda is or if he even has one……..i don’t know how to feel.  I know that I am not angry as I prayed sooo hard to let go of anger but then again I don’t know how I will feel when I stand before him again face to face.  My friend asked me if I want an apology/reconciliation/friendship and the answer is I really don’t know.  I had shut my heart and my head to all of these 3 options and now I am being left alone with my thoughts.  What if he want to tell me that he has met someone and that they are happy together and want to get married?  The possibilities are endless and although you tell your self not to get ahead of your self and not to expect anything – your mind cant help but wonder.

Maybe I will get an apology and an explanation.  To be honest all that will do is make me feel that I was not good enough and the only person that will benefit is him and his conscience – on the flip side if that’s what he wants maybe I should just forgive him so that we can both try to move on somehow.  If there is one thing this has taught me is that Prayer is Powerful god is merciful and fair and even if its just to look me in the face and speak his piece I will fell better because that’s more than I have had from him all these months – I have felt a bit like Chiwoniso must have felt when she wrote the song Wandirasa…..hameno all I can do is Pray that god will guide me.  My thoughts my words and my deeds.  I know one thing for sure I have never been hurt like this before- hurt so bad that I actually was so depressed some days that I wondered what death might feel like, been so low that some days I could not face the world, been so humiliated that I could not go to certain places felt so wronged that my blood actually boiled and my body actually felt hot cried until I was hoarse and prayed my self to sleep.

Hameno never say never……………

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Apr 23 2008

Fuckery

Mugabe’s party wins first recount

Zimbabwe’s ruling party has been confirmed as the winner of the first of 23 constituencies to complete a recount of votes after March’s election.

The electoral commission said Zanu-PF retained its parliamentary seat in Goromonzi West.

The opposition Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) has dismissed the recounts as an attempt to rig the election and overturn its parliamentary majority.

The results of the presidential election have still to be announced.

Meanwhile, Zanu-PF has distanced itself from an article in a Zimbabwean state-owned newspaper calling for a power-sharing government.

Deputy Information Minister Bright Matonga told the BBC that Zanu-PF was preparing for a second round in the presidential election.

There is no clear winner. No-one has got 51%. Therefore we should gear ourselves for a re-run

Deputy Information Minister Bright Matonga

Zuma refuses to criticise Mugabe

UK ‘would back Zimbabwe embargo’

The MDC says its candidate, Morgan Tsvangirai, won March’s presidential vote outright and have also rejected the idea of a unity government.

The electoral commission says it cannot publish the official presidential result until it completes the recount of presidential and parliamentary votes in the 23 disputed constituencies.

Goromonzi West was one of only two constituencies where the MDC requested a recount and according to the commission, Zanu-PF actually picked up just one extra vote following the recount to be confirmed as the winning party.

Zanu-PF needs to overturn just nine seats to reclaim its parliamentary majority.

Denial?

The opinion piece in The Herald says other Southern African countries should act as mediators between the government and opposition, to form a unity government under President Robert Mugabe which could organise new elections and write a new constitution.

It says political tensions following last month’s presidential election make it impossible to hold a free and fair run-off in the near future. It also says the West must lift economic sanctions.


ZIMBABWE‘S NEIGHBOURS

Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe has been under fire over March’s disputed elections. His neighbours have been supportive but regional differences are now emerging.

South Africa’s President Mbeki is the key Zimbabwe mediator. He has refused to criticise Robert Mugabe but the ruling ANC, and trade unions have urged him to take a stronger line.

Zambian President Mwanawasa has taken the region’s strongest line on Zimbabwe. His call for Africa not to let a ship carrying weapons to Zimbabwe dock will outrage President Mugabe.

Angola’s government has close ties to Zimbabwe’s ruling party - both came to power after fighting colonial rule in the 1970s.

Botswana is not seen as an ally of Robert Mugabe. Opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai fled here after polls.

Namibia is a close ally of Zimbabwe - it too is planning to redistribute white-owned farms to black villagers.

Mozambique has hosted some white farmers forced from Zimbabwe and is seen as relatively sympathetic to Zimbabwe’s opposition.

Tanzania’s ruling party has a long history of close ties to Robert Mugabe’s Zanu-PF party and is unlikely to criticise him.

DR Congo’s President Joseph Kabila is an ally of Robert Mugabe, who sent troops to help his father, Laurent Kabila, fight rebels.

Malawi is seen as neutral. But some 3m people of Malawian origin are in Zimbabwe, mostly farmworkers who have lost their jobs and were sometimes assaulted during farm invasions.

1The BBC’s Peter Greste in Southern Africa says the paper is regarded as a mouthpiece for Zanu-PF, so articles like this can be important indicators of the way the party is thinking.

But Mr Matonga denied the article was sanctioned by the government of Zimbabwe.

“The politburo said there is not going to be a government of national unity as proposed by Morgan Tsvangirai. That was thrown out,” he told the BBC.

“We are waiting for the official announcement of results to say, we’re waiting for a re-run, that’s a fact. MDC knows that, Zanu-PF knows that, that there is no clear winner. No-one has got 51%.

“Therefore we should gear ourselves for a re-run. That’s exactly what we are waiting for, for that official announcement.”

Mr Tsvangirai’s MDC accuses supporters of the ruling Zanu-PF of voter intimidation and beatings ahead of an expected second round.

Post-election violence in Zimbabwe has displaced 3,000 people, injured 500 and left 10 dead, according to MDC secretary general Tendai Biti.

But Justice Minister Patrick Chinamasa has denied anyone has died in political violence.

Meanwhile, the leader of the governing ANC in South Africa, Jacob Zuma, is refusing to blame Mr Mugabe for the violence.

Speaking to the BBC during a visit to London, Mr Zuma said the violence in Zimbabwe was unacceptable, but he was not prepared to judge individuals.

He also refused to criticise President Thabo Mbeki’s “softly softly” approach as mediator.

“We are doing something more than anybody else in reality… other people are doing absolutely nothing.”

Mystery ship

The Chinese ship carrying a consignment of weapons destined for Zimbabwe, the An Yue Jiang, has disappeared once again, but it is thought to be heading up the west coast of Africa from the Cape of Good Hope.

 

It has been refused permission to dock in South Africa and Mozambique, and Zambian President Levy Mwanawasa has urged other African leaders not to allow it to enter their territorial waters.

The Lloyds Maritime Intelligence Unit in London, which plots the location of ships around the world, says it is no longer possible to accurately establish exactly where the vessel is because readings are no longer being taken from its AIS (Automatic Identification System).

The AIS is a location beacon which every ship carries, which has a range of about 40-50 nautical miles.

It is possible that the An Yue Jiang is more than 50 nautical miles from the coast and is therefore not being picked up or that the AIS has been switched off.

The Lloyds MIU says that plotting points taken of the Chinese ship on Tuesday show that it was steaming north-west up the African coast at a speed of about 250 nautical miles a day.

The US is reported to be pressuring port authorities in Angola and Namibia - staunch allies of Zimbabwe’s leader, not to allow them to dock.

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Apr 18 2008

Independence Day

I am in what can be described as a “FUNK”  honestly this whole shipment of arms business……..honestly i dont know …
 

Its a sad day when a counrtries’ army turn on its unarmed people

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